A few years ago, I was attending one of the Yoga courses during which a philosophical question was asked: “Who are you?”. Well, no matter what I or anyone said, the answers turned out to be incomplete, if not wrong.

Perhaps, simplest of the questions have the most complex answers. One of my answers(yes, I gave many) was “I am myself, and what I am to others.”.

Now, as I turn 40, I ask myself, “Who am I?”.

• I am a son. It took becoming a parent, to understand how much I owe them as a son.
• I am a brother. Can I let him show the world, why everyone needs a brother?
• I am a husband. Trying to make her life better after marriage, than it was before.
• I am a father. How I wish, I am his best buddy, not just daddy!
• I am a son-in-law. Still have chances, to erase “-in-law”, for them and for me.
• I am a babai. It is sweet to be dad next to Dad.
• I am a pedananna. A lot of ground to be covered.
• I am a relative. Want to be one among them, even while away from them.
• I am an employee. If customer is god, so is employer.
• I am a friend. Struggling to be one to as many as I want to have.
• I am a subordinate. You assign it and forget it. It’s done.
• I am a manager. Delegate the tasks, but own the problems. Am I one?
  
• I am a student. Did I really learn what I studied, and apply what I learned? Perhaps not.
• I am a citizen. Be Ethical and Responsible. Although difficult, it’s possible.

I am myself. Keep trying to love what I do and do what I love.

It’s forty. Hopefully forty more, to become better “I”.

wife, women, marriage
jokes are on rampage

creativity at its height
sensitivity dark as night

back then, there were only a few
but now, in every whatsapp I knew

you having fun? of course
she having fun? check once

worried your golden period ended as bachelor?
remember she is younger, it ended for her sooner

marriage is a unique game, surprisingly
either both win or both lose, eventually
*************

“before marriage, I had life
after marriage, I have wife”
seriously??

not sure if others underrate theirs
or the specialty is all yours

ever since you came into my life
it is filled with even more life

happy or sad, laughed or cried
good or bad, succeeded or failed

we always did it together, for 12 years
wishing us many more and wishing you..

a very happy wedding anniversary!

What is Luxury in Life?

One acre in new capital?
Two incomes in family?
Three vehicles in garage?
Four bedrooms in home?
Five diamonds in locker?
Six digit balance in bank?
Seventh version of iphone?
Eighty inch television?
Armanis, Bvlgaris, Dolce Gabbanas, Louis Vuittons, Mercedes, Pradas, Rados?

May be.

But, when did we last..

have a sip of coffee watching the sun rising
take a picture or two of the sun setting

stare at a fish swimming
listen to a bird chirping

play a boardgame with kids
walk in the park with wife

pick a fruit in the field
cut a veggie in the kitchen

watch the clouds mingle
see the stars twinkle

read a book
visit a temple

sing a song
shake a leg

Didn’t we use to do all that, until the pursuit of luxuries in life stole the beauty of it?

Time to redefine Luxury?

Luxury is.. after all, Luxury. You never have all of it.
Whatever you have, enjoy every bit of it.
Whenever you have, cherish every moment of it.

We need freedom from our masters.
We have been enslaved for 8 years.

We hardly talk to each other at home.
Toys and games are locked for kids.
Books are shelved or sold.
Attention is arrested and eyes are put behind glass bars.

Kid’s candies are crushed.
Birds once loved turned angry at us.
Sand castles buried under Tetris debris.
Monopoly is not ours, any more.

Yes, it is because of our masters.

We invented them.
We brought them home.
We talked to them.
We sang with them.
We played with them.

But now..

We can’t control them, they control us.
They are becoming smarter, we are becoming dumber.
They are evolving humanoids, we are shrinking robots.
They are masters, we are slaves.

Is it the beginning of “machine-age”? Hope not.

We need freedom from our masters.
We want to be back at the playgrounds, into the woods, on to the beaches.
We like to mingle with nature.
We hope to remain humans.

We need freedom from smartphones!

Summer holidays are good because there is no school and I get to play a lot. They are also bad because I don’t get to meet my friends.

But luckily, yesterday, one of my close friends came to our house and we played like, for more than 2 hours. He also brought a new Lego set along with him. He said his Dad bought him that because he made a nice card for his dad on Father’s Day.

Father’s day? When was that? A few weeks ago? Oh no, I missed it. Else, I would have made a card for him too. And even wrote a letter too!

But.. wait.. what would I write in the letter? Hmm.. may be something like “I love you, Dad!.. You are the best Dad!..”. Good idea, because I really love him, love him a lot.

But, how would he react after seeing the letter? Would he hug me and say “I love you too, baby!”? Hmm.. I think he would, because he loves me. I guess he does. Because, he bought me an iPad and many Lego sets.

But then, why did he shout at me, when I asked him to play with me two days ago? Mom said, I shouldn’t disturb him when he is on phone. But, he is always on phone when he is not using his laptop 😦

Why did he keep quiet, when I asked him to join me to swimming in the evening? Mom said, he is very tired and I should let him relax. Even I go to school everyday and stay, like 8 hours and I am not tired 😦

The other day, during the school, he didn’t come to the PTA meeting. Mom said, he had some urgent work in the office. How would he know how I am doing in school, if he doesn’t attend?

The next day, I tried telling him the new science experiment we did in the school, but he said he was driving home, so talk to him later. Mom simply gestured me not to bother him. How would he then know my favorite subject is science? (and I don’t like social studies teacher, you know 🙂 )

How I wish he could stay by me and tell a bedtime story every night? Mom says, he would do that tomorrow because he couldn’t remember any story today. But, I have seen many tomorrow’s waiting for another tomorrow 😦

Why did he turn to the other side, when I woke up a little early and went to him to just lay by him? Mom said, he had late night office calls. I don’t understand, he says no to me for everything, but why can’t he say no to his manager, at least one day?

Why did he lie to me that he would come take us to the carnival? Mom alone took me because dad told her he had to go meet a friend. Why doesn’t he understand that I can meet and make more friends when he takes me to carnival?

You know.. I love reading diary of wimpy kid? I like it more when Dad sits next to me and read the book with me. But why does he always keep peeking into his facebook? Is facebook more interesting than diary of wimpy kid?

I was really frightened one day, when he yelled at me after looking at my social studies grade in second unit assessments. But why didn’t he notice my grades in science, in the same report card?

Why does he always take me to weird movies? Once when I cried, he promised me to take me to minions movie, when it releases in theaters. It release, but then, I forgot. He forgot too, I believe.

Looks like it is never-ending like my tardy’s. I think, let me write all this in the letter.
Where is my pencil, here it is. Let me tear a paper from my notebook. Now.. where do I begin?
Hey.. my paper.. my paper.. hey.. where are you flying away.. hello.. stop.. stop..

==================================================================================

“Dad..”
“Dad..”
Someone is waking me up.. waking me up from my dream.. Oh, it’s my son. He is hiding something in his hands, his face not pleasant, his eyes red. Looks like he didn’t sleep well in the night. He simply kept an envelope on my pillow and quietly left.

Wondering what was that, I opened it curiously. It’s a card, a nice colored card, made by him.
Something is written in it.. “I love you, Dad! You==============”. Something striked off.. what could it be?

Oh no.. was it my dream or his?

I couldn’t wait a second.. jumped up from my bed to hug him and say “I love you too, baby!”

My one month long single parenthood ends today, and I am both glad and sad.
A month ago, I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage, for this was the first time that I needed to take complete care of the child, over a full month.
Well, I knew how difficult a task it could be, but, I “realized” the challenges only after I (barely) managed to do it myself.

If one month was a challenge, I wonder how you managed it, month after month and year after year. Often, thanklessly.

Now I know, why you disappointingly stare at me as I silently finish my dinner. All you expect is an acknowledgement if not an appreciation for a special dish.
Now I know, why there is always a pile of unwashed dishes in the sink. They are there despite doing multiple rounds of cleaning a day.
Now I know, why you forget to tell me all the groceries the first time. It is impossible to plan all the items ahead.
Now I know, why you always rush to pack my lunch box. I barely managed tardy’s for the child.

Now I know, why you don’t do physical exercise. I gained a couple of pounds myself this month.
Now I know, why you always feel sleepy. You keep thinking about next day’s cooking in your sleep tonight.
Now I know, why you watch only entertainment in TV. After a daylong work, what you need is entertainment and not education.
Now I know, why you ask for a maid. It is basically a two people work, each day.

Still, now I know, why children like mom more than dad. It is not the effort that is noticed, it is the affection that is felt, unknowingly.

Happy (belated) mother’s day! The joy of parenting is all yours.

I am fortunately passionate enough to take part in long group rides.

Triggered by a recently finished one such long ride, I find some striking similarities between a long ride and life in general. Here are some:

    One mile at a time. You are sure to reach your target.
    Every uphill is followed by downhill. Get over it.
    Ensure your near (and dear) have safe ride too. Their fall might lead to your fall.
    Do not compare yourself with a slower rider. There are much faster riders ahead of you.
    Do not compare yourself with a faster rider. Know your limitations and be within.

    Don’t look too far, you see only uphill. Enjoy the downhill right now.
    You can’t go too far against the nature (wind). Oblige it.
    Know when to switch gears. It is not always plains.
    Take breaks. Recharge, rejuvenate and resume.
    Have a friend, be a friend. Your ride will be more pleasant.
    Have a spare. You never know when you will need it.
    A fall is not the end. Get up, shake it and move on.

    Feel free to take short detours. Nature is beautiful.
    Don’t just ride. Help a cause.
    Make the most out of your downhill and get a mileage to the next uphill.
    Injuries are not uncommon. Treat yourself, take help and move ahead.
    Alone, you may ride faster. Together, you can ride longer.
    Ride and let others ride.

    Ride is not a race. It is an experience. Feel it.

Happy riding!

It has been a year since we relocated to the US and I have encountered quite a few friends/ colleagues who are thinking of either relocating to the US or returning to India. While the motives could be many and different, there is one common concern: “How much to earn? (to maintain the relative standard of living)”. This question has been asked by both aspirants (India to the US) and hesitants (the US to India).

While the “aspirants” presume that a lot could be saved in the US, the “hesitants” wonder how expensive it is to live in India. Despite visiting the US many a times, I did not realize how expensive to lead a standards-matching life in the US, until I seriously thought about and planned for it. Similarly, many of my friends who occasionally make short visits to prime cities in India exclaim how people are able to live with such high prices.

For a while, I simplified it with, “yeah, there are a certain things which are expensive in the US and certain other in India”. Recently, I did a little bit of comparative analysis of earnings and relative expenses in both the countries. To my surprise, barring a few infrequent expenses, both the countries are equally expensive, in many ways.

Here is a simple chart of various recurring and infrequent (but common) expenses and their comparison. I have taken the case that many of my friends (including me, of course) can relate to.

I am sure there is a lot of variety in each one’s earning sources and spending patterns. When you attempt to derive based on one sample earning-expense scenario, I am sure there would be more disagreements than agreements. Respect. Nevertheless, I hope this chart helps to get a bird’s eye view of the expenses relative to the earnings in both the countries for the segment of people that I chose.

“Standards matching” could be interesting. For e.g., a Honda Accord in the US is equivalent to a Suzuki Swift, and not a Honda Accord, in India. And there are certain things (services like maid, cook, driver, etc.) are just not viable in the US. Hence, the “standards matching” is considered as relative within the context of that country and not an absolute comparison between the countries.

Conclusion: An earning of 120K in the US is equivalent to 20-25Lacs in India to match the respective living standards* and you are likely to find that both the countries are equally expensive. Anything above that is a luxury. Ultimately, you will be happy as long as you like to be happy with what you earn, no matter which part of the world you live in.

2014: A year of “change”. 2015: A year of “hope”.

Personal: In search of greener pastures, here I came crossing the oceans and it has been a mild roller coaster ride since then. While it is yet unclear which side is greener, the hope is still alive.

Regional: Breaking some hearts and delighting the others, a separation as harsh as it was, is still indigestible. May the geographical boundaries become irrelevant for our unity, the hope is still alive.